Category Archives: Politics

Vassal State – Dienliches Land

The Government has published a Brexit white paper on the future relationship between the UK and the EU along with translations into other European languages.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-future-relationship-between-the-united-kingdom-and-the-european-union

I read the German translation, and it’s not just bad, it’s laughably humiliatingly bad.

Here is a sentence from the executive summary in English:

“The Government will have delivered on the result of the 2016 referendum – the biggest democratic exercise in this country’s history. And it will have reached a key milestone in its principal mission – to build a country that works for everyone.”

Here is the German translation published by the Government:

“Die Regierung wird das Ergebnis der Volksbefragung von 2016 umgesetzt haben, die größte demokratische Übung in der Geschichte dieses Landes. Und sie wird einen entscheidenden Meilenstein in ihrem wichtigsten Auftrag erreicht haben, den Aufbau eines Landes, das allen dienlich ist.”

And here’s what that German translation actually says:

The Government will have realised the result of the 2016 public consultation, the biggest democratic practice run in this country’s history. And it will have reached a decisive milestone in its most important mandate, the formation of a country that is subservient to everyone.

It makes Jacob Rees-Mogg’s ‘vassal state’ sound like the unintentional but inevitable consequence of a principal policy objective. Which, of course, it is.

But maybe if the first referendum was just a practice run, the second referendum will be the real thing, and everything will be OK.

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Article 50: Three Lion Whip

Jeremy Corbyn’s called a three line whip on the Article 50 vote. He claims he’s against a bargain basement Brexit, yet he seems to be doing everything possible to facilitate it.

It’s as if he’s succumbing to the shallow nationalist rhetoric I’d normally associate with rowdy football supporters.

I’ve adapted a little song for Jeremy to sing from the opposition front bench terraces.

I think it’s bad news for English politics.
We’re not creative enough, and we’re not positive enough about Europe.

It’s coming home. It’s coming home. It’s coming.
Sovereignty’s coming home.

We’ll go on getting bad results; getting bad results;
getting bad results; getting bad results

It’s coming home. It’s coming home. It’s coming.
Sovereignty’s coming home.

It’s coming home. It’s coming home. It’s coming.
Sovereignty’s coming home.

It’s coming home. It’s coming home. It’s coming.
Sovereignty’s coming home.

Everyone seems to know the score. They’ve seen it all before.
They just know. They’re so sure.

That England’s gonna throw it away; gonna blow it away,
But I know they can play, ’cause I remember

Three lines on a whip; Commons mace still gleaming;
Thirty years of EU, never stopped us leaving.

All the Labour People

Ah, look at all the Labour people
Ah, look at all the Labour people

Jeremy Corbyn picks up the cards at the poll where an election has been
Lives in a dream
Waits in his office, wearing the suit that he keeps on a hook by the door
Who is it for?

All the Labour people
Where do they all come from?
All the Labour people
Where do they all belong?

Hilary Benn is writing the words of a speech that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, honing his quotes in the night when there’s nobody there
See how he cares

All the Labour people
Where do they all come from?
All the Labour people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the Labour people
Ah, look at all the Labour people

Jeremy Corbyn died in the polls and was buried along with his name
Nobody came
Hilary Benn must leave the front bench with his mandate deprived
No one is saved

All the Labour people
Where do they all come from?
All the Labour people
Where do they all belong?